Because I do.
We get a TV channel from Miami, Florida. We like to watch it because it's one of the few channels in English, but I personally enjoy it because of this:
FREAKIN' YES. It's a weatherman... in a Hawaiian shirt... with a parrot hand puppet... in a smaller Hawaiian shirt. Is that not the greatest thing ever? He's got to be the ballsiest weatherman alive! And of course he makes the parrot talk in a high-pitched voice, why wouldn't he? He's not even close to being a professional ventriloquist, but dang it all, he tries. If the man taking a nap in a hammock underneath an 18-wheeler is named Awesome, than this must be his twin brother Beawesome. (Origin: Beyond Awesome merging into one word. Source: the movie Bolt.)
A few days ago on Independence Day, we went to Catarina with Eugenio (La Vina pastor and good friend) and his family. It's beautiful there--scenic, breezy, great view of the lake, colorful. It's a nice little place, I'd have to say I like it better than Granada because it's not as busy and there's a lot less tourists. In fact, the only reason Catarina had people there that day was because it was a holiday. Eugenio's wife, Ana Patricia, says that on normal days hardly anyone is there. It's a great place that I would love to visit again sometime in my lifetime or maybe in another if I'm resurrected as a gecko or one of the disgusting cockroaches that like to hang out in my room.
But well, there is a catch. After all, it's showing up in this post, is it not?
We were walking along the path in the hills, following Eugenio as he led us towards more scenic sitting areas. I might as well mention that there were a lot of couples there, and that they were rather... um... passionate about each other. That was pretty uncomfortable. But hey, there's always the lake and the trees to look at, right?
So I'm walking along, thinking my own thoughts and glancing around myself at the scenery when my peripheral vision suddenly warns, "Mind your head." So I duck, step to the side, and take a good hard look at what almost hit my forehead.
It was a frog. A dead, rotting frog, dangling from a tree branch on a string by one of its legs. What I couldn't figure out was who would put it there, WHY would they put it there, how would they reach the tree branch with the string, why did they choose a frog, why wouldn't they be courteous enough to not put it in the middle of the walkway... The only reason I didn't take a picture was not because there was loads of people around or because I had more dignity--no, I only didn't take a picture because I was in a hurry to catch up with the others and I assumed we would see it again on the way back. Of course, we didn't because Eugenio led us a different way back to our cars.
But yeah, that was just--that was really, uh, well... look, I'm having a hard time finding a word strong enough for that. So I'm just moving on.
Not too long after that frog incident, we reached an fenced area on the edge of the mountain. Some parts of the fence were broken, and Eugenio was very fearful that one of the Kolb kids would be dumb enough to approach the open area and accidentally fall down the side of the mountain. (I wouldn't have minded.) While he was preoccupied with watching the kids, his daughter Ana Marcela marched over to the edge of the mountain and stepped onto a rock to elevate herself. Spreading her arms wide, she began to sing the Titanic theme song: "Every night in my dreams--" and was suddenly cut off by her father, who panicked wildly and told her to get off the rock and away from the edge. I suppose I'd needed a good laugh that day, because that silly little incident had me screaming with laughter. I'm not exaggerating, I stumbled over to the side of the path, clutching my stomach from laughing so hard. Everyone was staring at me, it wasn't even all that hilarious, and I couldn't even get the words out when Carrie asked what was so funny, but I didn't care.
Preston and I were in the car once (it seems like all my strange sightings start out like this), going to someplace that I can't remember and thus is not important. We were sitting there quietly, doing our own things, and then... was that... no.... it couldn't be, right? Holy crap, it totally was... it was a guy on a motorcycle with a tire around his waist!
Being in Nicaragua has rendered me out of practice in the art of watching America's Funniest Home Videos, so I didn't immediately assume that the guy had tried to be young and carefree by attempting to ride a tire swing, got stuck, and was now riding in the path of humiliation on the way to the hospital to get pried free. Pity, it would've made a great story. But still, a lot of explanations can arise, so use your imaginations to assume what you want about this tire and his man. I figure anything we imagine is a lot more interesting than the actual story, anyways.
This list isn't near long enough, but I'm starting to get tired of writing so I'm going to stop here. To be continued... eventually!
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