CULTURAL!

So there's a Chinatown in Houston, and Mom and Kyle (my little brother) and I go there occasionally to get our oriental fix. We really miss the Asian food we used to eat all the time in California, with our Asian family... the vegetables, the cookies, the pastries, the dumplings, and all kinds of stuff that are delicious but that I don't know the names of. Where we lived in California was freakin' Asianland, so all the food we loved was right there. I never realized how much I took it for granted until years after I moved to Texas.

When we go to Chinatown, we immediately go to the Chinese bakery to buy different types of bread I love and some coffee cake stuff. Then we walk to a Chinese restaurant where Mom orders all her favorite foods and I scarf down my bread and whatever Mom hasn't eaten. Then we head to the grocery store where Mom buys dumplings and other food that don't matter because I only have eyes for the cookies/crackers I've loved as a child. We load everything up, and then full and happy, we drive back home.

I'll never forget the first time I went to Chinatown. I had the bright idea to play a game called "Count The Asians" and Kyle enthusiastically (a little too much so) joined in. I even had my phone out, keeping track of the numbers on the notepad. Because believe it or not, there are a lot of Asians in Chinatown.

I think I gave up after 70 or so Asians. Kyle bravely continued until close to 200.

 Last time Mom and I went a couple of weeks ago while Kyle was at school. Oh man, he was upset! He wanted to come with us so badly... haha, sucker!!! I mean, just kidding Kyle, we'll bring you back something. (We did--while wandering around a store, Mom found a clock with Snoopy in hockey gear and bought it for Kyle's next birthday.)

So we arrived in Chinatown, and head through our usual parking lot. I was looking out the passenger window, looking out at all the stores and the dog on the parking lot and the Tapioca House and--wait,  a dog? I did a double take, but at that point we had completely passed it.

"DID YOU SEE THAT?" I said to Mom.

"See what?" she asked, mystified.

"That dog!"

"What dog?"

"Mooooooooooooooooooooom, can you turn around? Look at it!"

 So she turned around in the parking lot and drove back the way we came. I'm sure I was pretty inconspicuous, the way my face was pressed up against the glass. And then... yes! We saw---

You know how when dog owners need to run inside a store, they'll usually leave their dogs in the car with the window cracked for air? This owner must have looked at them with haughty derision and decided "Not me!" Instead, they had left their dog outside in the REAL air. Seriously, the dog was just chillin' there on the parking lot next to the car. Don't worry, the dog was on a leash... the problem was, the rest of the leash was locked in the trunk.

HUH?? I'm really hoping the owner didn't just drive off without putting the dog back inside the car. But it's Chinatown, dogs aren't expected to be treated well there.

(I reserve every right to make fun of Asians since I am very much one. That's what I like about being multiple ethnicities... I get to make fun of all kinds of things.)

Mom saw the dog this time, and burst out laughing. We stopped right in front of it, I cranked the window down, and very subtly took a picture.

You know what I like about my mom? Not only did she stop to let me take a picture, but she dug around her purse for her phone, handed it to me, and told me to take a picture on that too.

Anyways, we went through our usual ritual of going to the bakery. The funny thing is, my mom has known the old woman who is always at the counter for years. Every time we walk in, the woman jabbers away in Chinese to my mom about how pretty she thinks I am, and what a great relationship Mom and I must have. It's kind of embarassing, but she's a nice lady.

We continued on our journey to the Chinese restaurant. We sat down, Mom orders her usual ten plates of food while I unwrap my bread and begin my blissful eating. Mom and I chatted about different things, the waiter came and went, food started disappearing as quickly as they came.

Halfway through the meal, my attention was drawn towards the music playing overhead. Huh, it sounded strangely familiar... I hadn't heard this song in forever, what was it? I strained my brain, trying to remember. Suddenly the woman in the song started singing and I immediately realized what song was playing. Simultaneously, as I recognized it, I choked on my food. Mom looked at me quizzically as I burst into laughter, probably spraying food everywhere.

The song was "My Humps" by the Black Eyed Peas. For the uncultured out there, it's PRETTY inappropriate and it's all about a woman's.... figure. I've never been a fan; in fact, I question how this song came into existence in the first place.

Honestly, it was absolutely hilarious to me that half the people in the restaurant probably didn't know enough English to understand the lyrics.

What made it better was when the waiter came over, looked at me (practically crying at this point), frowned, and asked Mom in Chinese what was so funny.

She shrugged and responded, "I don't know, I think it's the song."

Only in Chinatown... well, I'm very much sure this would happen in Nicaragua too.