This is weird...

I've never done a blog before so bear with me. I'm only doing this because I like to type out my thoughts but more importantly, have succumbed to peer pressure. Everyone wants to know how I'll be doing in Nicaragua, what I'm doing, and if I've died yet or not. I even started a Facebook group two days ago, but that wasn't even good enough after realizing half the people I know don't have Facebook. And they still have the audacity to ask for updates.

Fine.

I leave tomorrow with three people from my church--Brian Fox and Robert and Kim Craft. We're all going together in the same car....VERY VERY VERY early in the morning. The actual flight itself is at 9:10 a.m. The difference between me and the other three is that they're staying for ten days, and I'm staying until September 24th.

Last year after Carrie and Preston Kolb had announced that they were moving to Nicaragua, I was just beginning my senior year. There was a lot of pressure and a lot of questioning about what was going to happen after high school. Everyone was bustling around, working on scholarships, applying to every college they could think of, hanging on to a counselor's every word about college... but for some reason I didn't want to do that too. I just really wanted something different. I looked around myself and wondered, "Is that it? Is no one going to do anything unexpected? Does everyone want to go to college or work right after graduation?" It just seemed so...boring and predictable.

I had an idea in my head of what I really wanted to do, but I said nothing for a long time. After a month or two's silence, I cracked. I pulled Carrie aside and asked if there was any possible way in this life or a next life or even a former life for me to spend a little time with her in Nicaragua. To my surprise, she loved the idea from the start.

The idea snowballed. We talked about it with Preston and my parents and each other and God for a long time (I did anyway, I don't want to speak for Carrie). And to make things short and sweet, I found out I had a lot more support than I'd ever realized, and I finally got the Okay a few months ago after a lot of anxiety on my part that I had wasted my time dreaming about traveling instead of applying to a buttload of colleges like any other sensible student.

I sent out a letter in May, offering to do odd jobs for anyone who needed it...yeah, I was pretty desperate to earn money. Unfortunately it's not cheap to leave the country. After two jobs (one from my mom, one from my stepmom) in several weeks, I was extremely frustrated one Thursday morning before school. I stormed around the house getting ready before I broke down and decided to give God a piece of my mind.

"WHY HAS NO ONE GIVEN ME JOBS?" I demanded (in my room, so no one would think I was talking to myself). "You KNOW that I need money, and I KNOW You can provide and all that stuff... but I NEED MONEY." I said a lot more stuff which I don't remember, and which I may not want to remember. I mean, I wasn't angry at God but I was frustrated enough to not want to be very polite to Him.

So saying, I marched out of my room and had to settle for venting my anger by making my lunch for the day.

My stepmom, Judy (I refer to her as Aunnie) was in a very cheerful, talkative mood that morning, and I listened to her as I finished slamming my food into plastic bags. As I was working my way out of the room, she said, "Oh, there's a check for you." And apparently another family friend was about to send a check, and apparently ANOTHER family friend wanted to give me money.

I'm not sure if it was greed or amazement made me stare at her. Immediately I thought, "God must be laughing so hard at me." When I got back to my room, I said very grudgingly, "Okay God, you win."

Since then, I've received more checks and more graduation/Nicaragua money than I can keep track of. I lost count a long time ago, but my estimate is that I've gotten close to or about a thousand dollars. And I only did four or five real jobs.

Heck--if I was God, I would be laughing at me too.